


He Can Keep Me

by brage



Series: Keep [2]
Category: Emergency!
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:51:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brage/pseuds/brage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion piece to "I Think I'll Keep Him" but told from Johnny's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Can Keep Me

I thought I was going to stay home tonight.  There was a conscious thought process around 2 or 3 o’clock this afternoon that I was just going to stay in tonight, catch the game, relax and watch television, maybe work on the crossword puzzle in the newspaper.  Of course, I say that all the time to myself but, once night falls I feel the pull again.  I say that as though I’ve been mind-altered.  No Vulcan mind tricks here.  I just really like sex and I really hate being alone.  It’s 9pm and I feel the need for company.  I stand in the shower thinking about where I’m going to score tonight.  It doesn’t really matter to me.  I quickly decide that I’m going to the Green Parrot tonight.  The clientele is a bit more sparse and selective which makes the competition fierce but the quality is much better.  I’m up for the challenge.  If I don’t score by midnight I can always hit the bath house.   

I turn the water off and reach for my towel.  Every detail of this ritual has its reason.  I go out freshly showered because well, it’s just considerate of the other guy if you happen to snag one willing to go down on you.  I shave my face because most guys do this secretly and would not be able to explain a stubble rash to their co-workers, friends or hell, their wives.  I wipe the steam off the mirror and look.  I could just stay home.   I could watch the late show, slug down a couple of beers and kick back.  I look through the open bathroom door to my empty bed.   I sigh resignedly. The cool minty lather is thick on my face and I grab a new razor.  

Getting laid in LA is easy.  I’m pretty certain it would be easy for anyone—gay or straight—but definitely easy if you’re gay.  Gay is taboo which lends to the forbidden fruit theory.  Everyone is doing it and in an age where the common motif is ‘if it feels good, do it’ there are oh so many opportunities to find a partner for the night…or maybe just an hour or so.  But, the down side is that there are so many people out there who just don’t have a clue what they are doing.  If you get someone without any experience or someone who just doesn’t give a fuck, you get slammed against the wall and fucked without lube.   Not a good idea.  I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. 

Actually that was how Dr Brackett found out about me.  I didn’t mean for that to happen.  I don’t know why I told him.  I had no intention of doing so when I was wheeled in.  I was sore, I remember that but even once I had been stripped and put into a snappy little gown, I still had no intention of telling him.  It wasn’t until he had found a hickey that someone had left from a fuck 3 or 4 nights previous.  I could’ve just laughed it off but I was so sore.  I guess I knew that I wasn’t really bleeding badly so it would probably heal but, suddenly I just felt like I needed to tell someone.  I felt like I was leading a double life and neither one touched the other at all.  I needed some connection between them.  Mostly I was counting on doctor/patient confidentiality I suppose because there was no way I would ever tell Roy or any of the other guys.  No way!  Also I knew he was gay too so I was hoping he wouldn’t judge me.  So Brackett was it.  Usually, there is a nurse hot on his heels but that night, there wasn’t.  The circumstances were just there and I had to say it out loud to someone.  It felt good.  Releif.

That was two years ago.  Truth be told, I think I was hoping he might ask me out.  I know that sounds absolutely insane but he’s gay and I’m gay…so…maybe.  But, of course, he never did ask me out.  That’s okay.  I didn’t really expect him to.  It would be kinda like Farrah Fawcett asking out Woody Allen.  Or Tom Jones asking out Woody Allen.  Whichever scenario you can wrap your head around.  Either way it just doesn’t happen in real life.  Anyway, he’s been great.  Treated me for a couple of …indiscretions very secretively and has always reiterated that I should call, day or night, if I get into trouble and need him urgently.  I’ve come a thread close to making that call a few times but I’ve never done it. 

I can’t wear too much cologne.   Women catch things like a change in their husband’s smell.  The rub off during sex makes their scent different.  A man who might be aware of that and dismissive of it if they were cheating with a woman, will go the extra mile of paranoia to avoid a heavy smell of men’s cologne with a guy.  It’s one thing to get caught being a guy, hammering the secretary or the babysitter.  An at-a-boy from the guys, a pissed off wife, possibly even a divorce is all that amounts to.  It’s a completely different thing to get caught fucking a guy.  Lives are destroyed by that little secret.  I splash a bit of aftershave on my face.  That’s all the smell-goods I’ll need for the evening.

People are weird.  I’ll never understand them.  Like I said, forbidden fruit, risk.  Everyone wants to, at least once, do something secret.  Dirty.  Me, I’m just the guy they fuck or who fucks them.  Whichever.  Hey, everyone has their spot in the world.  Mine is not going to be the happily ever after.  I’ve made choices.  Happily ever after is just not in my cards.  Even if by some miracle I find THAT guy.  How would I go about introducing my man to my friends?  The people I work with?  No way.  People get bashed in heads for that shit and with my job … I don’t need their opinion of my lifestyle putting me at more risk.  No thanks.  I’ll stick to the numerous anonymity.  That’s okay.  I hate white picket fences. 

I give myself the once-over in the mirror before I grab my keys and head for the door.  My jeans are pretty much painted on and everyone says the boots make me look like walking sex.  Hey, whatever gets me laid.   

I walk out into the hall and I’m floored by the fact that Dr Brackett is standing there.  I pause for a second.  I know he knows I’m here.  He’s been here before.  He knows this is my building.  A few scenarios on why the hell he’s standing outside my door run through my head but nothing accidental or job-related comes to my mind.  I walk toward him.  Once he actually acknowledged my presence, he looks like he’s come unglued.  He’s nervous and looks desperate to get away.   “Oh hi Johnny, uh…”  He stammers

“Hi.” What the hell?  “Doc?”

He hits the button again.

“Doc?”

He hits the button AGAIN.

This is going nowhere fast.  “Doc, did you need something?”

“Huh uh” was his reply. 

No?  He’s shaking his head and looking for all the world like a man ready to fly out of his skin and would much rather do a free fall off the side of the building than talk to me.  I’m not completely clueless here.  I can pretty much guess why he’s shown up at my apartment but watching him right now is kinda like watching a fish flop around on the sidewalk.  When you already had a shark pictured all smooth and comfortable in its environment, well, this is just mind blowing to watch.  It’s kind of cute.  I’ll be merciful.  I had to laugh a little though.  “Huh uh?”  Seriously?  What you were just in the neighborhood?  Twenty miles from the hospital and in the completely opposite direction of your house?  Doing a housecall?  I’ll just stand here for a second.  He’ll catch up.

Knowing he’s been busted, Brackett finally turns around.  “You got a minute?”

There ya go big guy.  I don’t bite.  I’m trying not to smile at him like I could eat him alive but man, I’ve never seen him so endearingly unsure of himself and fuck, I’m only human.  “Sure, doc.  C’mon in.”   I use my key to click the lock open again.  I look back at the man one more time.  God, who the hell doesn’t have a crush on him.  Fucking fine!! 

I need to pause for a second.  Once I pass this threshold, things will be different between us forever.  This is sort of bittersweet.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have no aspirations of becoming Mrs Brackett.  It’s not a dream that has ever entered my mind.  It’s just that I have this other connection to the guy and for the first time, probably in my entire life, I actually had second thoughts about doing the deed with someone.  Aside from the fact that he’s hot, he was just…the one.  The one that knew about me, the one I could come to, talk to.  Not that we’ve ever sat down and did couch time or explored our feelings on the subject but, I knew if I needed someone, he was that guy.  If I was being honest, and why the hell shouldn’t I be, the one that I could dream of.  I didn’t but if there were anyone that would ever make me think along the lines of living on Norman Rockwell Lane sprinkled with fairy dust, he was that guy.  Probably simply because he’s my one and only connection to who I am AND what I do.  Sometimes people think about their future and try to picture someone else in it.  Someone to grow old with.  I have a sea of nameless, faceless people I have carnal knowledge of but Dr Brackett …was the guy with a face.  Not anymore.  Like I said, picket fences are for shmucks.  I’m not sending him away. 

Naturally, as soon as he’s inside, I push him against the door and kiss the shit out of him.  May as well get the party started, right?  He seems to be enjoying himself by the time I’m finished blowing him.  I look up at him with his shirt pushed up into his armpits and his hips pushed forward like his dick is a magnet seeking it’s polar opposite.  I’ve seen enough porn …hell, I’ve lived enough porn to be pretty desensitized to your normal, everyday lay.  It takes some pretty direct stimulation to usually get me this far gone but, damn!  Let’s just say I’M STIMULATED!  And he hasn’t even touched me yet. 

 I don’t even think he sees me take my own clothes off and drag him naked and panting to the chair and sit him down before he falls down.  I straddle him and lube his cock up before we get to the main event.  I wasn’t expecting him to stop me.  I deepen our kisses and look into his eyes trying to read what he wants.  Does he want me to fuck him?  I don’t think so.  Maybe he’s just nervous, been away from the game too long.  I’ll make it nice.  Don’t worry. 

The burn is nice going in.  He automatically thrusts upward way too fast but, I breathe passed it and relax my muscles.  I can take him in.  This is gonna be fast though.  He’s too far gone.  That’s alright.  Just about the time I’m trying to decide on whether or not I’m staying in or going out after the good Doc is finished, he becomes more conscious and sits up.  I’m taken aback but if he’s going to actually participate rather than sit back and be fucked, I’m game.  He wraps his arms around me and stares at me like he’s just seen me.  It’s mesmerizing.  He takes my weight in his arms easily and we drop gently to the floor, still connected.  He’s rubbing my skin and fucking me slowly.  Our angle is odd, he’s on his knees and my legs are wrapped around his waist as he impales me from below.  Oh my god!  If I hadn’t seen that in a porno last week I would swear I was seeing things in my blissed out state.  He sucked my cock as he was fucking my ass.  Jeezis fucking Christ!!    

 “God, Johnny.  You’re so beautiful.” 

Yea, yea, I’m so beautiful while I’m riding your cock.  Duh!

He drops down pushing my knees back to my chest.  He’s folded me in half like he’s going to give me the pounding of my life but he kisses me and drops back.  Hmmm…okay.  He’s staring at his cock disappearing into my ass.  He’s definitely going for the participation points.   Fuck that feels so good.  Oh, hell!  God, he’s stretching me.  I feel like I’m being fucked by a Sequoya.  It’s good.  It’s so good.   

“Am I hitting your prostate at all?”

The question took me off guard a bit.  Nobody I’ve ever fucked has ever asked me that.  EVER.  I do, of course, have complete knowledge of the prostate but, we are not best friends.  The people I hang out with don’t usually give a shit about that particular gland either. 

Bracket adjusted his angle and thrust deeply, slowly.  A look of disappointment crossed his face and he changed angle and stabbed at me once again.  Frustrated, he sat back and pulled out completely.  I didn’t have time to be disappointed however before he thrust two slick fingers in it’s spot.  Oh fuck!  That’s nice.  I pulled my legs open further and flung my head back.  Mercy!  He nailed the spot he was looking for alright.  Oh my god.  Oh…my ….god!! 

“Come for me baby.  I want to see you come.”

Oh c’mon.  Nobody with this much knowledge of human anatomy should be let loose to use in such a manner.  It’s too dangerous.  Oh fuck.  Sonuvabitch fuck.   No.  I want more.  I would much rather come with the full package.  “Please…please…inside me.”    It does feel good, what he’s doing, but it knocks me right out of my head.  I don’t think I like that.  I like it but it’s just too much.    

To his credit, the first time he plunges his dick back inside me,  Brackett knocks it out of the ball park.  I don’t remember the last time I came so hard.  I guess he won’t either because he’s spent and limp as a rag doll on top of me.  Good god, this guy really needs to get out more often. 

He wakes up, pulls out gently and before I can disentangle myself and go for a warm cloth, he kisses me.  I’ve been kissed before.  Sometimes they like to be kissed, not often, but it happens.  But, this kiss was the kiss of …well, of a lover.  It was attached and he looked like he needed to do it like he needed to breathe air.  Hmmm. 

“Johnny, I didn’t come over here for this.”

“Oh.”  What the fuck are you talking about you didn’t come here for this?!!!   I just changed everything!  Nothing will ever be the same between us and I what….did it for NOTHING?!!  You came for beer and pizza then?!

“I mean, I didn’t come here to be just another guy.  I came to tell you how I feel about you.”

Oh..what?  “How you feel about me?”

“Well, before you…rendered me speechless.  That was my intent, yes.”

Alright, I guess I’ll calm down now.   “I rendered you speechless?”

“With your wicked, dirty ways.  Yes.”  He’s smiling at least.  It looks so much more natural.  This is the guy I know.

“So…you came here to tell me…what exactly?”

“That I …have feelings for you.”  He hesitated there for a second but he didn’t lose eye contact. 

Don’t be an ass.  You already said that.  “I don’t know what that means.  Lot’s of people have feelings for me.  They feel like fucking me and so they do.  That’s a feeling.  How are you not like the others?  What are you talking about?  Specifically.”

“I’m talking about spending the night…sleeping with my arms around you…kissing you awake in the morning…having coffee and breakfast in the morning…and talking about our day every evening…everyday for… forever.” 

He’s talking about Norman Rockwell Lane?  No fucking way!  He just fucked me within 2 seconds of the threshold.  It’s a little early to proclaim undying love isn’t it.    Puh-lease!  I break out my biggest predatory smile—I can’t help it.  I’m not doing this with him.  Not now. “You think I’m cute?”

“Oh, you’re cute alright.” 

He growled and bit my neck.  It was fun, playful.  Much different than the usual.  “You want to date me?  Make an honest man out of me?” 

 “Uh-huh.”

He keeps nipping at my skin, wrestling and acting….like a lover would.  It’s a bit much so I pushed him off half-heartedly.  “Hey, none of that now.  You’re getting a little fresh don’tcha think?  We’re courting.  You’ll have to work up to being allowed to bite my earlobe or any other such erogenous areas.  Might take a few dates.” 

“You know your come is drying on my stomach right now right?”

“Hey, mister, no more fresh talk.”  I’m doing cool, calm, collected.  This only happens in movies, this fairytale bullshit he’s talking about.  I’m not a blushing virgin here.  I’ll play along though.  It sounds good.  We’ll see how he feels tomorrow.  Right now though, his arms feel nice around me.   

He clears his throat and starts talking but like he’d rather not say what he’s going to say.  That was fast. “I am… attracted to you.”  Ya think!!  “Very much attracted to you and I don’t want to presume anything but I would really appreciate it if you would stop going out…prowling.”

“Prowling?  I’m a prowler?”  Nice.

 “Listen to me.”

Don’t worry you have my attention. 

“ I’m saying that I really like you.”

“Obviously.”

“Yes, well…I suppose I … this sort of started off no different than what you usually have…I’m sorry about that.  It was not my intention to do that. 

  
“But, I rendered you speechless.”

“Yes…you did, smartass.  Anyway, what I’m saying is that I’m interested in you.  I really hope it gets to the point where all you want to do is spend as much time with me as I want to spend with you.  I hope so but in the mean time I cannot deal with you going out …prowling or hunting…”

Am I a fucking mountain lion now?

“… or looking for the next fuck, whatever  you call it.  I hate the thought of you putting yourself in harms way like that.  Your job is bad enough but to throw yourself in harms way on purpose…I understand if you have others…that you might want to …keep…”

“Fuck?”

“Or, fuck, yes.  But, I really would like it if you would please stop going out…searching.”

“You wanna go steady?” Yea and I look awesome in pearls and make a mean meatloaf too.  What the hell?

“Will you stop being so tenacious.”   He takes a breath.  “I just think …well yeah, I wanna go steady.  But, if it’s too early at this juncture, I’ll settle for what you can give me until you can give me more.” 

Oh I had to laugh.  He sounded like a nerd.  “Well, at this juncture…I think I could abandon my wicked ways for you.”   We’ll see how he feels tomorrow.  I’m not holding my breath.

I curl up with him because he’s letting me.  It feels good, warm.  Even on this cold floor. 

“Hey, Kel?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s my flowers?”  I can do feinting virgin when it’s called for and he doesn’t get to throw the lovers in New England scenario at me without some repercussions.  I was stunned when he throws his thumb into my face showing me a small wound and explained exactly where my flowers were. 

 “Actually, they’re in the car.”

No fucking way!!!  I can’t stop laughing.  This is just surreal.  Yep, I’m letting him keep me as long as he stays.

 

The end    

 

 

 

 


End file.
